On redefining success, the luxury of experiencing the current USA through a different lens & creating success as a former elite athlete

Opportunity came knocking on doors, and I was honored to say YES not only once, but three times! That’s how I got to sit down for in-depth interviews on Living the American Dream, on Redefining Success and 5 Work Ethic Lessons as a former athlete turned entrepreneur on that I would love to share with you today:

REDEFINING AND LIVING THE AMERICAN DREAM

(click to read the full article)

Would you believe me if I told you that I never wanted to move anywhere outside our little town? Much less to move to the USA?

But then one evening, I received an email asking if I would be interested in playing for a NCAA-D1 team in New York City. As I was typing a simple response of “No,” my mom entered the room. Noticing my puzzled face, she asked what I was up to. I explained. “Go give it a try. If you don’t like it, you can always come back” was pretty much what I remember her saying next.

17 years, a marriage, two kids, a business, and dual citizenship later, this is what I shared with Vicky Coals about this thing called the American Dream.

I want to first acknowledge that I speak from a privileged position. Meaning, my life, my livelihood, and opportunities to live a full and fulfilling life would not be threatened had I decide to remain in Slovenia all those years ago. I did not come to the USA fleeing a war, or poverty, or violence. America was never painted to me as some promise land. And because of that, I have the privilege to experience it very differently.

So when it comes to this “American Dream” I do have questions! I am always interested in each individual’s definition; what does it mean to them, how, and why? In the most cliché version, we’re hearing about it as the land where dreams come true, where anything is possible, where you can be anything. What we also need to talk about, is the other side of this coin. The shadows. Sacrifices. The cost of it.

Also, recognizing different experiences, insights, and contributions as something that can help strengthen the collective! So for anyone who feels the need to just blend in, I offer that in the place where you can be anything — be you!

And finally, let’s dare to actively participate in improvements

“If you don’t like it here, go back to where you came from!” We’ve all have heard that before, haven’t we? And it stings! Therefore, my wish is that no matter what, we all have the courage to speak out, to actively participate in making this an even better, kinder, and more harmonized place for everyone! How that gets to look like, it depends. Some of us march the streets, others educate; some fundraise, others legislate. And some simply hold space and vision. None more important than the other, all impactful in their own ways.

Above it all, there is gratitude.

Gratitude and appreciation go a long way. It's also a remedy for when we feel specifically vulnerable, out of place, homesick. When we are experiencing identity crisis. Or guilt for "abandoning" our roots, our heritage.

The complete interview by can be found on Medium here.

REDEFINING SUCCESS

(click to read the full interview)

Success wasn’t something I consciously thought about as an athlete, as a student. Others might have perceived me as such, but it never registered with me. It wasn’t until I opened my own business and kind of had to tally up and eloquently express all my achievements for positioning and marketing purposes, that I started to pay attention. And I realized just how much was there to celebrate…

But that only lasted for a hot minute. Because then I started to look around, only to realize just how unremarkable it’s all been.

See, I was raised to be humble, to never boast about my achievements. Much less to sleep on laurels. Also where I come from, money was the root of all evil… God forbid you have a lot of it. And God help you if you don’t have it… especially as a woman! It was modeled to me that women were near-worthless, trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse, martial rape, and suffering if they were unable to pay their own way out. But — for God’s sake, don’t desire having it. Don’t be greedy! Women who did pave their way out, who built success, their own wealth — I saw them scrutinized, ostracized. They were just too much.

Here I was, already carrying this deep wound and totally skewed money mindset, thrust into the society that only knows to measure success through money. So to measure up, I worked even harder; to achieve even more, I tried to scale though hustle. Even though I knew better. It looked easy, attainable, and amazing on paper. But I kept hitting the wall.

So, I had to re-imagine the possible and redefine success — exactly what millions of people are doing right now.

1.) Ask different question 
2.) Use different measuring methods. 
3.) Unshackle yourself from the chains of cultural, generational programming. 
4.) Break the old rules to grow your wings. 
5.) You are not meant to go at it alone.

As Karen Magnia opens this interview: “ Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.”

Here is the complete interview, I hope you enjoy it.

FROM AN ATHLETE TO AN ENTREPRENEUR — 5 work ethics lessons

(Click here for a complete interview)

It’s easy to talk about achievements and hard work, but Edward Sylvan wanted to know about funniest moments and especially mistakes I’ve made as an athlete. And there were many!

How about scoring on my own basket — right after the tip-off! I was so surprised nobody bothered to defend me! Ha! I did end up more than making up for scoring the 2 points for the opposing team.

Or showing up for a National Team training camp without my basketball and running sneakers?

Or showing up for what turned to be a tryout for what would be my new US-based college team, in Poland, dressed for a dinner party? To make things worse, I also thought I did not have to complete my freshman year in Slovenian college. I only realized that that wasn’t the case two weeks before the finals, and then had to figure out how to study for about 8 exams, each covering a full years’ worth of material… Let’s just say that things got lost in translation.

In the end of the day, however, we play the way we practice. And that’s true whether we’re in the athletic arena, business arena, or corporate arena.

In fact, these are four strategies I still apply — 12 years after having had played my final game. Nowadays it’s what allows me to masterfully navigate roles of being a mom, business owner, primary householder, writer, speaker, leader,…

How that breaks down in pragmatic strategies?

1. Slow down the time. By simply taking a deep breath, it can feel like you have just pressed pause on time. Even if only for a moment to collect your thoughts.
2. Focus. This is the time when muscle memory takes over — or your subconscious programming. So make sure you focus on what will benefit and advance you. Shut out the rest.
3. Take an intentional and aligned action. Or sometimes, just take the first step, and then the next one. You won’t always see the entire path in front of you, much less be able to know the outcome.
4. Which is where trust and surrender come in. And that can mean taking the most unconventional approach like taking a nap or meditating to reset your nervous system and the energetic frequency when you most lack the time.

Here is the complete interview.

Now I would love to hear your thoughts, insights, and experiences.

Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.