The depth of wounds that drive high-performing women
One of the most fascinating dichotomies I’ve observed and experienced with performance-driven, high-achieving magical women, is the depth of the wounds that drive us.
The idea is not to suddenly stop and to become a woman of leisure if that’s not in your codes. And you know what I am talking about, the magnetism of “ease, and flow, and grace” that might sound appealing but we somehow find just so draining? Because it’s not who we are.
No, the idea is to get clean and clear about the energy, the attitude, the intention, the mindset behind your hard work.
For example. Many of us have been told we’re too much to handle. That our desires are too selfish. That our goals are too ambitious.
That we should be satisfied with less. To be content with what is. That having any other expectations will just lead to disappointment.
And someone who stands 185cm tall (that is before I put my stilettos on), I lost count of how many times I was made to feel ashamed of being a “living wall.”
Shrinking. Dimming our light. Toning ourselves down. Settling. That’s what happens. Yes?
But our codes are still those of achievement. Our fire is still burning, our mission is still pulling us forward! Now we just need to overcompensate.
So let me ask you…
What if in spite of all of your (external) success, you are still squeezing yourself into boxes of your mom’s hopes? Your spouse’s dreams? And strangers’ expectations?
In exchange for the illusion of security and comfort, this sense of belonging, the proximity to power & influence?
Yeah, that is such a tricky place. Yet so comfortable. It’s so familiar to slip into martyrdom, to sacrifice our fulfillment. To try to save, satisfy another… It’s what we’ve been modeled. It’s what we’ve been programmed for.
I don’t know if you’ve seen VIVO? Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a song that Gloria Estefan sings ever-so-beautifully. One of the lines goes, “…this fear that keeps me by the door, shouldn’t interfere with you wanting more.”
Yeah. Here’s the massive difference:
All the work, energy, all this fire we have are barely keeping us afloat when we are stewing in environments, relationships, attitude that is this depreciating. Toxic. And dare I say — addicting.
Imagine the power, the impact, the joy that’s available when we unshackle ourselves? Untame? When we shift and elevate our perspective? Upgrade our vibratory frequency?
I’ve seen it time and time again. That’s where ease and flow and grace come in — it’s not about doing nothing. It’s about doing more than most ever will. It’s who we are, it’s how we’re coded. There’s no denying that. But once we truly own it… Wow.
So what I hope this post does, is to poke your curiosity.
I hope it inspires you to perhaps ask yourself different questions.
To get honest with yourself. With courage. And love. And acceptance. And kindness. And patience.
And let me ask you again: What do you want?
Sara
Originally published by Sara Oblak Speicher at https://www.linkedin.com.
